• Ella Botting

May in review


Career

  • I'm learning a lot about myself as a mentor and a manager. It's been harder than I expected and I know I need to work on making sure I communicate things effectively and clearly. It's also a lot more time consuming that I ever would have considered, even though I was told that a million times lol. But, it is really rewarding and it's definitely where I want my career to go

  • The service I'm working on has entered a new phase of product development and I've got a lot of research happening this month, which is always exciting

Personal

  • My mental health has been a bit of a shit show. I've struggled with it because it hasn't surfaced in the way I'm used to. I'm used to being an anxious wreck, but I'm not used to feeling depressed. I'm not used to wanting to stay in bed all day because I'm filled with dread about the every day. It's weird because I really like my life. I love my job, where I live, my relationships and my day to day. So why do I feel so low?? Anyway, I've been able to do something about it so I am quite pleased. I start a new round of therapy next week and I don't have to pay for it (thanks NHS love u). I'm trying to go into it with open arms, but when I feel particularly dark, I can't help but think it won't help. Probably why this quote has stuck with me this month:

"The way we laugh. At our own desires. The way we mock ourselves. Before anyone else can. The way we are wired to kill. Ourselves. It doesn't bear thinking about. What do we do with knowledge that we cannot bear to live with? What do we do with the things we do not want to know?" Things I Don't Want to Know, Deborah Levy

  • That being said, life outside of the funk has been really good. I'm smashing the gym and I am soooooo close to hitting my goals of being able to do the splits and a pull up.

  • One of my best friends from Dubai, Georgia, has moved to London from Australia. So bloody happy.

  • My baby sister turned 22

  • I celebrated another of my best friends birthday and got to see some of my Dubai friends, which is always a bonus

  • I bit the bullet and got a cleaner. She is life changing, love u Maria

Things I could have done without

  • Finding out my coil (contraception) is perforating my womb. I have to have it out which I am devastated about because it's been so much easier than other contraception I've been on. Hoping I don't have to wait too long before I can have another put in

In June I'm looking forward to:

  • Triangles event and meeting some of my Twitter buddies there

  • Starting therapy

  • Boyfriend and I have set aside regular time to work on our side hustles, away from home. Which has taken the pressure off the weekends, because I definitely want those two days COMPLETELY free

  • Volunteering for Local Welcome (come join us). A couple cute dinners etc. planned and seeing Tom's family at the end of the month

Book of the month

I'm on a Deborah Levy hype.

Product of the month

I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of waking up with the sun at 4:30am.