There have been a couple of TESTING moments this month BUT at the same time, life has been BLESSED this month🏡. Is my life going to always be this much of a rollercoaster?!
Highlights
Catching up with friends from Dubai, they honestly make me cry with laugher. The best people ugh 💓 Nesa was one of the first ladies I interview last year, check it out *here*
Started running my own research sessions and successfully ran over 15 interviews this month 👩🏻🔬
We went to the beach, LOOK AT THE CUTE LITTLE HUTS! 🌊
Was able to help out a lovely lady looking to get into UX w/ some interview prep, she found me on Linkedin after I published *this* article about getting a job in tech 👯♀️
New projects @ work and they are INTERESTING & CHALLENGING 💪🏻 I’ve been given a fair amount of responsibility which is so fulfilling but I can’t deny I’m a lil nervy
MOVED INTO LONDON YAAAAS. CYA LATER 4-6 HOUR COMMUTES 🚂
Celebrated my boyfriend's sisters 21st, I have the best in-laws in the world BLESSED <3
I may not have posted much this month but my blogging motivation has SPIKED and I now have 4/5 articles waiting to be published ☺️
Rubbish thangs😒
Hay fever 🌾
Grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw LOADS which I keep being told must mean I'm v stressed. I don't feel overly stressed atm but I have had more panic attacks than usual this month and I'm not giving myself enough time to chill. So probably? Also having bare dreams about my teeth cracking, so so grim 🔨
I popped two of my 🚗 tyres on my way home from getting take out Chinese (karma for fudging my diet?) The recovery guy then shows up 2 hours later and refuses to help me out ?? I THEN got told by an incredibly rude man that he will reverse his car into mine unless I move it EVEN THOUGH I clearly couldn't move the car and wasn't blocking his drive AT ALL. What is with rude people round here? Fortunately this all happened AFTER I had picked up my food 🍟
ZERO down time, I’m hanging on by a THREAD ➡️ need to rectify this next month 😴
Had real trouble keeping my intrusive thoughts at bay recently, however, I expressed this to a couple of my colleagues (friends) and look as this lovely email I received, entitled 'zen' 😭🖤
Gainz
Been consistently gymming before work now for 8 weeks, I have started to notice improvements in my physique & strength but I have got a lil bored, so :
I added a lil ab burner onto the end of all my sessions (4 weeks until I’ll be wearing a bikini help) 🏝
Lil improvements in shoulder mobility
FINALLY starting to see lil changes in my progress photos sooo excited to see the differences at 12 weeks, but at 8 my arms are so much more toned 💪🏻
Starting tracking on fitness pal, I was confused cuz I eat SO much better these days but still haven’t lost a real chunk of weight, but after a week of tracking I’ve realised even though I’m eating better I’m still eating too much, time for the shred 🤟🏻😩
I haven’t worn a bikini for YEARS, but ⬇️
Goals for April
More down time/rest 😴
More of a focus on my mobility, I’ve let this slip a lil in order to spend more time lifting 🏋️♀️
Be organised, proactive & confident in my approach towards my new projects to show myself & my managers what I’m capable off 💁♀️
Botting's book club 📚
Reading is the most delicious pass time and thanks to my long ass commute I get to read A LOT. Silver linings hey.
The Cost of Living - Deborah Levy. This book gave me LIFE. I often freak out about the decisions I make and their impact on my future. Deborah reminds me that no matter how much you think you are in control, shht will always hit the fan and thats okay, you'll adapt. She's also incredibly poetic and makes me want to become an author so I can write books in a shed at the bottom of the garden.
Dreams - Sigmund Freud. I picked this up because my boyfriend and I have been having some WILD dreams lately & the conversation seems to keep popping up with friends. I haven't done any 'intellectual' reading since finishing my Master's and this book made me chuckle bc of quotes like this: "serious-minded people smile at these efforts". He's the sassiest.
Little Fires Everywhere - Celeste Ng. OMG. So emotional. A couple of moments that really hit home. Another book inadvertently about control (I must be subconsciously following some theme here). I love the juxtaposition of the 'free spirited' character and the 'highly-strung' character and while I definitely sympathised with them both, I was kinda in awe of Mia's ability to pack it all up and leave everything behind with little attachment to any material belongings.
Quote of the month
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards" - Søren Kierkegaard. I love this quote, it really resonates for me. I'm obsessed with trying to control my future and the journey I want to take and I get REALLY attached to things I shouldn't. I want stability but simultaneously crave change, so it's a bit of a catch 22. This quote, however, reminds me that no matter how much you plan, your journey only really makes sense when you look at it in reverse.