There have been a couple of TESTING moments this month BUT at the same time, life has been BLESSED this month๐ก. Is my life going to always be this much of a rollercoaster?!
Highlights
Catching up with friends from Dubai, they honestly make me cry with laugher. The best people ugh ๐ Nesa was one of the first ladies I interview last year, check it out *here*
Started running my own research sessions and successfully ran over 15 interviews this month ๐ฉ๐ปโ๐ฌ
We went to the beach, LOOK AT THE CUTE LITTLE HUTS! ๐
Was able to help out a lovely lady looking to get into UX w/ some interview prep, she found me on Linkedin after I published *this* article about getting a job in tech ๐ฏโโ๏ธ
New projects @ work and they are INTERESTING & CHALLENGING ๐ช๐ป Iโve been given a fair amount of responsibility which is so fulfilling but I canโt deny Iโm a lil nervy
MOVED INTO LONDON YAAAAS. CYA LATER 4-6 HOUR COMMUTES ๐
Celebrated my boyfriend's sisters 21st, I have the best in-laws in the world BLESSED <3
I may not have posted much this month but my blogging motivation has SPIKED and I now have 4/5 articles waiting to be published โบ๏ธ
Rubbish thangs๐
Hay fever ๐พ
Grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw LOADS which I keep being told must mean I'm v stressed. I don't feel overly stressed atm but I have had more panic attacks than usual this month and I'm not giving myself enough time to chill. So probably? Also having bare dreams about my teeth cracking, so so grim ๐จ
I popped two of my ๐ tyres on my way home from getting take out Chinese (karma for fudging my diet?) The recovery guy then shows up 2 hours later and refuses to help me out ?? I THEN got told by an incredibly rude man that he will reverse his car into mine unless I move it EVEN THOUGH I clearly couldn't move the car and wasn't blocking his drive AT ALL. What is with rude people round here? Fortunately this all happened AFTER I had picked up my food ๐
ZERO down time, Iโm hanging on by a THREAD โก๏ธ need to rectify this next month ๐ด
Had real trouble keeping my intrusive thoughts at bay recently, however, I expressed this to a couple of my colleagues (friends) and look as this lovely email I received, entitled 'zen' ๐ญ๐ค
Gainz
Been consistently gymming before work now for 8 weeks, I have started to notice improvements in my physique & strength but I have got a lil bored, so :
I added a lil ab burner onto the end of all my sessions (4 weeks until Iโll be wearing a bikini help) ๐
Lil improvements in shoulder mobility
FINALLY starting to see lil changes in my progress photos sooo excited to see the differences at 12 weeks, but at 8 my arms are so much more toned ๐ช๐ป
Starting tracking on fitness pal, I was confused cuz I eat SO much better these days but still havenโt lost a real chunk of weight, but after a week of tracking Iโve realised even though Iโm eating better Iโm still eating too much, time for the shred ๐ค๐ป๐ฉ
I havenโt worn a bikini for YEARS, but โฌ๏ธ
Goals for April
More down time/rest ๐ด
More of a focus on my mobility, Iโve let this slip a lil in order to spend more time lifting ๐๏ธโโ๏ธ
Be organised, proactive & confident in my approach towards my new projects to show myself & my managers what Iโm capable off ๐โโ๏ธ
Botting's book club ๐
Reading is the most delicious pass time and thanks to my long ass commute I get to read A LOT. Silver linings hey.
The Cost of Living - Deborah Levy. This book gave me LIFE. I often freak out about the decisions I make and their impact on my future. Deborah reminds me that no matter how much you think you are in control, shht will always hit the fan and thats okay, you'll adapt. She's also incredibly poetic and makes me want to become an author so I can write books in a shed at the bottom of the garden.
Dreams - Sigmund Freud. I picked this up because my boyfriend and I have been having some WILD dreams lately & the conversation seems to keep popping up with friends. I haven't done any 'intellectual' reading since finishing my Master's and this book made me chuckle bc of quotes like this: "serious-minded people smile at these efforts". He's the sassiest.
Little Fires Everywhere - Celeste Ng. OMG. So emotional. A couple of moments that really hit home. Another book inadvertently about control (I must be subconsciously following some theme here). I love the juxtaposition of the 'free spirited' character and the 'highly-strung' character and while I definitely sympathised with them both, I was kinda in awe of Mia's ability to pack it all up and leave everything behind with little attachment to any material belongings.
Quote of the month
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards" - Sรธren Kierkegaard. I love this quote, it really resonates for me. I'm obsessed with trying to control my future and the journey I want to take and I get REALLY attached to things I shouldn't. I want stability but simultaneously crave change, so it's a bit of a catch 22. This quote, however, reminds me that no matter how much you plan, your journey only really makes sense when you look at it in reverse.